My thoughts are inserted into the missive in italics.
[No salutation]
Nice.
It isn't fair that you won't let me make up the quiz that I missed.
Who said life was fair?
I sent you two emails before the quiz and got no responce [sic].
This is a lie. I responded quite clearly: I told you that I was displeased with your request and that your reason for wanting to take the quiz early was insufficient. Your response to this was, "Well, it doesn't hurt to ask." Remember now? I saved our correspondence if you would like to have a look.
I couldn't talk to you after class because I didn't know where your office was. There wasn't anyone at the front desk and I even asked some classmates where your office was.
Wow. You tried really hard, didn't you? For what, five minutes?
I clearly wanted to take the quiz early but you never gave me the opportunity.
Can't argue with you on this one. But then I never intended to give you the opportunity.
Going on a weekend trip should not cost me 15% of my grade.
Guess what? It cost you 15% of your grade.
I'm an honors student and quite frankly the [sic] is absolutly [sic] no reason that I should be fighting to get a B- in your class.
This is also a lie. Honors students are identified on the class roster. You, sir, are no honors student. Quite frankly, a B- is all you deserve.
I don't understand why something can't be worked out.
There are a lot of things I don't understand too. Like why an "honors" student would take off on vacation in the middle of the quarter. Or why an "honors" student would take off on vacation without making absolutely certain that there would be no consequences for doing so. Or why an "honors" student would find it surprising that a professor would not want to bend the course requirements for a single individual. Or why an "honors" student would treat me with such disrespect. Fuck off.
12 comments:
Well said! You and I think the same way while reading whiny-assed student e-mails.
I think I'll just put up a sign in my office that reads "Boo Fucking Hoo." Head 'em off at the pass, you know?
Hey, Anonymous, get back to the hole you crawled out of... oh, and when we're talking about higher ed., students are not children, they're adults... you know, the kind that's supposed to take responsibility for their own behavior.
Frenchdoc, that was Bill O'Neill again. Ignore him. He's psychotic and really, really stupid.
I'm not sure if I mind getting no salutation at all. Here are some of the alternatives I've been getting:
"Hey." (or the variant "hey." No need to capitalize.)
"Hi [First name],
I'm choosing to address you that way, not as a sign of disrespect, but on the off chance that it might make you more sympathetic to my situation (i'm not sure how, but it makes me feel more comfortable, and i'm hoping you can
understand that we all need moments of grace)."
I guess now is the time to note that I tell my students on the first day they can call me Mr. etc. or they can call me by my first name, whichever I prefer. And I got this email in week eight of the quarter.
"[Misspelled name, first or last.]"
God bless the American educational system.
I greatly admire your restraint. I think I would have been compeled to forward the missive to my department head (at the very least), so that we could share a mutual chuckle.
At least it didn't start with, "Holla!" or, "Yo!" and end with, "Hit me back."
Glad to have read the other comments. I think part of my upcoming semester's first-day spiel will be telling students what to call me. I'm 5'2" and look not much older than my students (though I'm in my early 30s), so I need all the respect-forcing boundaries I can get. The first-name thing creeps me out, and makes me feel they're too friendly with me, or trying to put one over on me (which quite a few often are).
AP, perhaps you should save this e-mail and show it to future classes as a warning as to what NOT to do when they'd like to ask you about class-related matters. Include your comments and show them what a smart-ass you are when you read such doofus e-mails. I did this with sample papers in my classes, and the quality of work went up dramatically.
Apparently, this kid also goes to my school, but I've been lucky so far and haven't gotten anyone this comprehensively stupid. Yet.
Angry TA:
You haven't gotten anyone this comprehensively stupid because those students were all enrolled in my classes!
When I calm down, I will tell you guys all about the leader of the dishonest pack from my stats class who wants to have a meeting with me to "see if it is worth her will to appeal her grade" after she has already admitted violating the honor code--in writing!
I agree that the email is whiny and annoying, but I have often sent my college instructors email w/o a salutation, and here's why.
They never told me how to address them. I attend a community college and so not all of the professors are doctors. I also don't want to offend by using Mr. or Ms., if in fact they are a doctor. First name seems to informal, even for email. And I'm not sure if to address someone as Professor XYZ, they would need to be PhD.....
If not, then I will start adding Professor XYZ to the top of any emails.....
But if Professor=Doctor, then I'm at a loss as the what's appropriate if I haven't been told.
"Professor" is always appropriate (if that is your instructor's) position. Many professors do not hold Ph.D.s.
Well go ON! Loving it!
Your basic problem is that you don't understand the meaning of the word "unfair". You're sticking to the old, stodgy dictionary definition of unfair.
When a student says "unfair", especially when a studnet says "unfair" with a tone of extreme righteous indignation, what they mean is, "things didn't go exactly how I wanted them to and in the manner that would benefit me personally most."
I hear the word "unfair" an awful lot from students, and based on context I've concluded that this must be that word's definition.
I was once told that it was "unfair" that I took several days to post (to a password-protected site) the grades on the last homework assignment, due just before finals, when I had posted all previous homework assignment grades much faster.
An amazing number of things are unfair if you're a student.
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