A colleague and I mused that our disciplines would be useless after the Apocalypse. People trying to remember how to put up food for the winter probably wouldn't be eager to learn statistics in their free time.
"We could eat each other," I noted. "Except for [Crazy Bitch on the Third Floor]. Well, if we got desperate we could stew her."
"Only if we got desperate," he agreed. "Better would be [Lazy and Annoying Former Administrator on the First Floor.] The entire department could eat off him for at least a month."
"And he's probably tender and really well marbled," I said. "What about [Insane Deadwood with Poor Hygiene on the Second Floor]?"
"E. Coli," he said.
"Yuck."
Friday, June 19, 2009
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8 comments:
Naw. Immerse in clean water and feed raw vegetables to detoxify for a few weeks, and then blanch. That's what you do for mussels, after all.
Reminds me of how I deal with annoying characters on tv shows
Heh. That part of "The Day After" was so unrealistic.
Enough garlic fixes any dish for healthful consumption. And it more often than not dissuades undesirable colleagues from getting too close.
Even shark -- which gulls won't scavenge -- can be made edible if you let it lie around long enough.
I also maintain that my disciplines will survive. People need entertainment.
Hilarious! As a faculty wife, I am putting our own names to this.
You can preserve them with salt, too, ya know. :-) Pack 'em up, and carve off a chunk when you need to.
Human meat is never marbled. Humans have almost no intramuscular fat. Human steaks will be dry and tough if not cooked carefully. Better to cut up the administrator into large roasts and cook slowly at a low temperature. A fire pit with coals and hot rocks with the shank and butt wrapped in wet banana leaves is the traditional method.
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