Oops! There goes another rubber tree plant.

A student came to my office hours today. He Failed-with-a-capital-F the midterm (28%). We went through the test together, chatted about what to study for the final, and I gave him some general advice.

At one point in our discussion, he spoke of his plans for higher education. "Of course," he said, waving his hands dismissively, "I intend to go on to get a Ph.D."

I don't think my wince was visible. And of course I know from personal experience that students who disastrously fail a few midterms can go on to graduate school. It was the casual ease of the assumption that got to me -- like it was just more school, ya know?

A dose of woo for the Angry Kid.

I got this fabulous come-all-ye via email the other day:

Lotus flowers,
[Some kind of salutation?]

Experience the energy of loving people focusing their heart-healing energy in a prayerful way to bolster the body's innate healing ability as well as open the mind to the possibility of miracles through the use of a Greater Love unfolding in our Peaceful Circles.
[Do tell! How about the possibility of a well-formed sentence? Or appropriate use of capitalization?]

We invite parents to bring children and experience a supervised children's circle to explore techniques of healing with energy.
[Oh, yeah. My three-year-old is going to love this activity.]

No one will be turned away though we will ask for $10 donations to support the [Woo-woo Center for Credulous Thinking].
[Only $10? Sign us up!]

People are welcome to bring snacks or beverages if they wish.
[We'll bring the steaks and beer. Y'all got a barbecue pit?]

OM Shantiu and Blessings
[It's Om Shanti, you boneheads. You just lost your credibility even with the woo crowd.]

Where do they find me?

Email sent very, very early Sunday morning.

Hey,

I am really really upset about my midterm grade. I bombed it and i dont understand how I cuold have done so badly when I come to class every day and read the notes and i thougt I understood everything. I pay attention in class and all we ever do is [all this stupid stuff] when I signed up for this class i thogth we would be talking about [all this interesting stuff] and we dont. Can I even pass this class now? I don't know how to study can you tell me how im supposed to study for [all this stupid stuff]?

Angry Student

Dear Angry Student,

I'm sorry that you're disappointed in your performance. Please see me during my office hours so we can discuss your concerns, and I will go through the exam with you so you can get some idea of what you're doing wrong.

Let me point out, however, that this is a class about [all this stupid stuff]. It is not a class about [all this interesting stuff]. When we talk about [interesting stuff] we do so to illustrate central ideas in [stupid stuff]. If you have been focusing on [interesting stuff] without regard for [stupid stuff] then you are missing the point.

Angry Professor

(Angry Student has never come to my office hours, not once. He has never opened his mouth in class. Despite his howls of protest, he has not been present for three pop quizzes, and has not done any of the extra-credit assignments.)

In which I realize I am a curmudgeon.

The weather here in Square State has been, well, interesting. While other areas of the country have had worse winter weather, we are uncomfortable but by no means experiencing what some might call disastrous conditions. If I still lived in Chicago, this weather would be typical for this time of year.

Even though we are all able to to get out for toilet paper, LSU bowed to the pressure of public opinion and closed down for a day. No, I am not particularly happy about the snow day. Because we are closed, I will miss a statistics lecture. Being on the quarter system, missing a lecture can really throw the schedule off.

Here comes the curmudgeonly part: we are already a day ahead of the syllabus in statistics. I was pleased about this. Now we are merely right on schedule.

A sad ending.

Hans came to my office hours this morning. He is hopelessly behind. We have moved through correlation and regression and are knocking at t-test's door, and he still doesn't know what a variance is. He has stopped turning in homework.

I advised him to drop the class and start fresh next quarter. He told me that he's afraid to drop any classes, for any reason. Why? Because his father has been telling him, non-stop, that Hans will not and cannot succeed in university. Hans is determined to show him that he's wrong, and is afraid that dropping a class will just reinforce his father's poor opinion of him.

Whether or not we believe Hans should be in college at all, this situation just sucks. I want to find this bastard and beat him up.