I intend to take an overdose of homeopathic sleeping tablets today during my ESP and Aliens lecture. I am worried that all that lactose is going to give me gas. They taste pretty icky, too.
Update: I ingested 18 sleeping tablets. I am not sleepy. I was a huge hit. Today (and only today) my students love me.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
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Hmmm. I would think that would only make the lesson more memorable ... "not only am I not dead, not only am I not sleepy ... I've got bad gas! Not only is homeopathy ineffective, it's embarrassing! Kids, just say no!"
What, you don't have another one of those to pull out later this semester? I think I'd save that one until about 3/4 through if I could!
Well, obviously you weren't sleepy! Don't you understand homeopathic medicine at all? It would only be dangerous if you took less than the standard dosage.
"... less than the standard dosage."
Best comment ever.
OMG... you're right. My attempt at a comment is now completely superfluous.
I hope your child's feeling better at least.
Viagra doesn't give you an erection, either, just enables one. So maybe homeopathic sleeping pills only enable the falling-asleep part if you're "properly motivated". Or, maybe the homeopathic sleeping pills only work on aliens? Aliens with ESP? What about placebos that have an effect when there's nothing at all in the medication?
Actually, when I worked at the poison center, we had (per protocol) to give ipecac to homeopathic med overdoses and to oral insulin ingestions. Neither of which will do diddly to anyone. Nice demo.
William the Coroner
Hey, if you don't believe in the homeopathy, it won't work! You'll confuse the little water molecules that once touched a molecule that touched the herbal ingredient!
I did experience a little gastrointestinal distress last night, but I don't know if it is to be blamed on the lactose or the AK's tummy bug.
Pelican - I made a joke about gas. They loved it. I rocked the house yesterday.
Ianqui - I can't think of anything else stuntwoman-like to do this quarter. I'll send you my syllabus and maybe you can make some suggestions.
Anonymous - I'd wish I'd thought of that one.
Raybob - had I ingested 18 methaqualone tablets I guarantee you that my "state of mind" would not influence the action of the drug. Viagra has measurable quantities of its active ingredients. Sedalia does not.
WtC - amazing. Stupidity knows no bounds.
Bardiac - she's much better, thanks. Unfortunately she has learned that when she's sick she gets to stay home and eat popsicles and watch (hour after hour) of Spongebob. So she has become quite a skilled thesbian.
I find Xanax to make me much more student-friendly. But they also make me pass out mid-freshman comp meeting, so they're generally a no-go.
At our annual department meeting, a colleague & I requisitioned, for the third year in a row, a wet bar in the faculty lounge. For the third year in a row, we were turned down. [sigh]
I did my first lecture this term under the influence of my new allergy meds, it was hellacious. Halfway through I actually 'fessed up, told the class I was on a new Rx and was stoned. Thank god that got a laugh and they stopped looking at me like I probably keep a fifth of gin in my desk.
That's a riot. I guess the Belladonna is low enough not to be lethal even at that many freakin pills.
I remember lecturing after taking a xanax by mistake (kids, never mix your meds when traveling. you can't tell the difference at 6 am). Needless to say, I had to call SO after class for a ride home. One of my students came up after and said I seemed really happy.
Eliza - the box carefully notes that the amount of alkaloid in each tablet is less than 10^(-16) mg. Ya, I wasn't worried.
What would happen if you dropped one of the tablets into the ocean? You'd have to dump the rest of the bottle in, or else you'd murder all of civilisation.
I tried to lecture once after eating a Krispy Kreme doughnut on an empty stomach - I got such a crazy sugar rush I had to show a film I'd planned to use the following week.
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