In the not-too-distant past, the Angry Family went to the Gay Pride Celebration here in Ellesiouville. The Angry Kid was hyped on seeing the parade, especially after she learned we had denied her the Memorial Day parade. She had a lovely time. She especially loved the giant Barbie dolls -- the drag queens -- on their floats. Mostly-nude men wrapped in leather were also a source of much fascination. The topless lesbians didn't march this year, which was a disappointment to us all.
The Angry Kid and her best little friend were so close to the parade line and so awfully cute that much candy was thrown at them. It was better than Hallowe'en. Unfortunately, this meant that no condoms or lube were thrown at the AP, and I was hoping to stock up.
Some people have expressed horror and outrage that I would take my small daughter to an event with such strong sexual overtones, or that celebrates "perversion." Well, fuck them. The Angry Kid is just-turned four, and she has known since she was two what penises and vaginas are for and where babies come from. She knows that sometimes boys marry girls, and sometimes girls marry girls and boys marry boys. I refuse to raise her in the same repressive and homophobic environment in which I was raised.
But this is Ellesiouville, in Square State, home to more televangelists and fundie weirdos per capita than anywhere else I can think of right now. The Gay Pride Celebration always brings them out in droves. As we sat waiting for the step-off, a big redneck tried to foist upon us a pamphlet advertising his megachurch. We said "No," (no "thank you") and refused it. This got the guy's dander up, and he then tried to convince us we were going to hell. "You know the wages of sin are death, don't you?" he said. We laughed; the wages of life are death. "God loves you!" he yelled at us in rage.
Cleetus, I had the bible read cover to cover before you were even born. We're not Christians, and have no desire to come worship your version of the Big-Bogeyman-in-the-Sky. Get out of the way -- I think that next float is passing out Boy Butter.
Monday, June 25, 2007
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29 comments:
Good for you.
just noticed the disclaimer. LOVE it. (and this post too).
I took my three year old twins to the parade here yeasterday. They were fascinated. Sadly, we ended up near the end of the route, so we missed a lot of the candy. And lube for that matter.
No free lube and condoms? Lame. Still, if you can get a fundie's dander up (a phrase, by the way, that sounds as if it should inspire a float in next year's parade), that's worth the trip.
Dear AP:
Like you, I have read the Bible from cover to cover -- several times, in fact. I recommend it as self-defense. Then when you are set upon by fundamentalists with their 'inerrant' opinions about what their 'inerrant' Bibles say, you can hold it up citing chapter and verse supporting your opinion that they are full of shit, thus using it like a cross to keep these spiritual vampires away.
Cleetus, I had the bible read cover to cover before you were even born. We're not Christians, and have no desire to come worship your version of the Big-Bogeyman-in-the-Sky. Get out of the way -- I think that next float is passing out Boy Butter.
Ahh geez, AP, you made me spit out my organic cola all over my laptop!
I took my five year old to our parade. Last year I took her to a gay rights rally and the AIDS Walk. It's up to our kids to grow up cool and save the world.
You know, once at small liberal arts college we had loads and loads of Gideons handing out New Testaments. We bio folks went and got our extra Origin of the Species and handed them out. The Gideons didn't want them for some unknown reason.
Woman, I adore your attitude and conviction from your Square-State pen.
I hope you some day come to my 'hood and spread your most welcome shit here.
From wierd, sunny So Cal.....
Old Jillie
"God loves you!" he yelled at us in rage.
This is one of the most elegant summations of that particular end of the religious spectrum that I've ever read.
After this post, I'll be delighted to send you lube and condoms as a token of appreciation. Pick a flavor! Pick a color! Self-heating? Scented? Monogrammed?
This is hilarious! Good for you!
Hello, AP. I'm a long time reader, first time commenter. Kudos to you for raising your child with an open mind. As a doctoral student in the social sciences at another large state university, I also applaud your consistent academic honesty and integrity. It is obvious from your blog that you take your job quite seriously...I wish more professors did. Too many of them flounder on their academic values when faced with a little pressure.
Keep up the good work!
Poor Cleetus. At least some small part of his hatred and viciousness is due to the fact that he probably hasn't yet explored the uses and pleasures of Boy Butter. Perhaps it would smooth things over for him...?
Good for you! I hope Angry Kid loved the parade!
All I can say is Cleetus is way into religion but he missed the Gospel entirly. "God Loves You," spoken in a rage? He should have said God Loves You even if I don't. Actualy God Loves you dispite Cleetus' efforts to prove otherwise.
Brava!
I like your angry family. In my little blog today there are two Prideful old ladies. Hapopy Pride!
I was thinking about this whole post and the issue of anger kept bothering me. Cleetus is angry with you for not being like him. He wants you to be a "religious" person like he is.
The head line in your post says "... I take pleasure in pissing someone off." You are angry with Cleetus because he won't be "tolerant and accepting of other life styles" like you.
I realized that both of you deep down inside are identical. You both demand that the world be the way you want. The details of your world views are very different, but the fact that both of you demand that your world view be only acceptable world view actually unites both of you. You are both driven by fear and anger and that is tragic for both of you.
You actually enjoy generating anger and rage in other people. That is appalling and destructive. Anger prevents civilized discourse. If there is no civilized discourse that is no way to learn and build respect for other people and their world views. Civilization requires real hard work. Anger only requires that you be lazy.
I need to make an edit to mmy previous post. The line that reads "If there is no civilized discourse that is no way to learn and build respect for other people and their world views. "
Should read "If there is no civilized discourse then there is no way to learn and build respect for other people and their world views."
My apologies for lame writing skills.
When are you going to get it, "faded"? Not everyone wants to be a xian.
Faded, I have no desire that Cleetus be just like me, or anyone else be just like me. My family and I just want to be left alone.
The idea that I enjoy generating anger and rage in other people is ridiculous in the extreme. We were completely civil to Cleetus until he became unhinged. What I enjoy is seeing self-important bullies fall apart when people refuse to tolerate their bullshit.
I think the bulk of the gay bashers is in its "last throes."
Now as that too cheney-esque?
There's a lesson to be had within Cleatus. While often most of us would particularly rather avoid such confrontations. It's the clear message of why these parades and celebrations take place. It provides some understanding for more than just the celebration and it is part of the collective of our shared history. And I find it more acceptable that they approach me at a parade than when I am alone on the street. It's actually the right time for them to voice their opinion - of course, I'd prefer for a more mutual respect. But it opens up the dialogue of belief as a conviction and the thin line that divides it as a weapon to support a view. A few days a year where they're adamant enough to try to spread their beliefs is far better than a lifetime of meeting them on the street when I just want to live my life without the constant need to be the poster child for millions of people when I am out of mustard.
They have more freedom to gather and share their opinion here even if it's uncomfortable to me. Though in a place where the "community" and friendly cohorts that are as much a part of our community as our "queer" selves. There's far more of us than there are of Cleatus, Billie Bob, and Tipper. We're all gathered in one place for a variety of reasons, we're a community with our convictions that bring us there and can speak collectively. And their grossly out numbered to brandish their view of a higher spirit or the community aspect of god as a weapon.
And personally, I would take a giddly delight in being a bit of a smartarse to one such as Cleatus. My sexuality or beliefs need not be a weapon just to dismiss this nor would I need to analyze why we are the same because I feel empowered in doing so. We're organisms in the same petri dish yet we're not brothers and sisters, nor family nor of shared belief. It's not opposite sides of the same paper.
Civilization hasn't come without a fight and it's a lesson of enduring struggle. The pacifists rarely survive if they're lacking the conviction to speak up.
Can tell me what a xian is? I have never run across that term before.
Kudos!
I would love to hear what was playing between the ears of a man who could use God Loves You as a verbal instrument of rage. Damn.
Faded, the X in Xian stands for Christ. This is from the Greek spelling of Christ, which begins with Chi, which is represented as an X in Greek (conveniently, it's also the shape of a cross). This is also why Christians put fish on their cars (although many of them probably don't know it). The first letters in Greek for Jesus Christ, King of the Jews spells out Ichthos in Greek, which is also the word for fish and also conveniently references the bit about Peter as the fisherman, and Christ telling him to become a fisher of men.
Oh, and not to be a pedant, but it's 'The Origin of Species' not 'the Species'. The media get that wrong all the time.
Thanks edward for that info.
Great column. I have never considered the ethics of bringing a child to a gay pride event. I intuitively am wary, although after reading your column I think it would be a very good thing to do as long as there was some open discussion about sexuality.
Rick
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