I'm far from home at my annual conference. Dr. Bane is here, and worse than ever before. While he didn't crash the board meetings, he has serially violated the graduate students: he forces them to listen to his grand delusions about his role in the creation of the universe for hours at a time. The more senior members of the society have begun a watch, and when we see a student with him for more than a few minutes, we invent some important errand that the student must go on right away.
Today, near the end of a talk, Dr. Bane walked into the lecture hall and tried to squeeze into a crowded front row. He knocked one of our Academy members off his chair. He stepped on a student's bag. He knocked over the table behind him, spilling water on everyone there.
Then. His. Pants. Fell. Off.
All the way down to the ankles. Biggest damn pair of tighty-whiteys I've ever seen. It took me at least an hour and a half to compose myself. Several people saw me running from the lecture hall in tears, and thought there'd been a death in my family.
You probably think I'm making this up. But I'm not.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
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25 comments:
Who says revenge is best eaten cold? Seemed pretty tasty warm! Thanks for protecting the graduate students.
As for switching from picking to throwing, keep at it. It is well worth it for knitting with a color in each hand, for resting a tired wrist, and for checking one off the Knitting Goddess Skill List.
AP,
When you described Doctor Bane, I thought of a supervillain with no pants and something with which to bludgeon students. I'll send you a picture.
GDad
Were they tears of joy, having gazed upon the immense, man-panty-clad package of Dr. Bane?
Or were you trying not to choke on your tongue while holding in the donkey-brays of hysterical, raw laughter?
(You have my admiration -- I would have HAD to have said something snarky. My restraint is not what it used to be.)
:-))))
So, God exists after all!
Now you can claim sexual harassment by him via his dropping trou. :Þ
Are you the only one who ran from the room in tears? Because I'd imagine that it would've been at least half the audience.
OH MY GOD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!
AP, thank you for the laugh. Maybe this will be Dr. Bane's last conference for a while? Let's all hope so.
Oh my goodness!!
ha!!!!!! This is every students dream come true who has ever had a horrible professor!
haha my god.....that is funny
That was priceless, sometimes you didn't need VISA at all.
I have had to deal with folks like that on boards. You are right most people's first response is to be nice. Most people do not do anything until the problem gets out of hand and it may to late or it will be messy getting them to go away.
Life has handed you a precious moment on a silver platter. Savour it.
I haven't gotten as much work done today as I should because I keep thinking of more people who need to be sent this gem of a story. I think I laughed for a solid three minutes straight.
Sometimes, the world rewards us with gifts of beauty and joy. Other times, it gifts us with pompous jackrags losing their pants. Simply amazing.
This is wonderful. Tied for best academic story I've ever heard, with only one or two others.
Unbelievable. How does one keep from gleefully tittering at such a moment?
I dared not even hope for a second appearance by the inimitable Dr. Bane, and then you offer this.
Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my blackened little heart.
Best. Post. Ever.
I'm in tears, myself.
Also, it's nice to know that benevolent conspiracies among senior faculty on behalf of students don't only exist in novels.
-Patashoqua
Wow, Dr. Bane sounds way too like one of my grad profs, but we're in totally different fields. How many Dr. Banes are there, I wonder?
Oh, gracious me. You're a stronger woman than I; I would have been on the floor laughing hysterically.
Who says there's no justice in the world?
I am so happy for you.
rosesmama (my verification is nugxang)
Heh! Must have been quite the conference!
Speaking of divine intervention... have you ever been to the Divine Interventions site?
Could "Dr. Bane" = "PBS"?
It's just that Universe thing.
Ned - Huh?
It is painful that this now seems mild, in comparison to this year's story.
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