Every so often I am struck down (or up) with insomnia. Like tonight.
Tonight is particularly bad. I went to bed at 10:30, and, as is my habit, opened a book and read a little. A little became a chapter, which became several chapters, which became the whole book by about 2:00 a.m.. Then, wide awake, I turned the light off and stared into the dark.
I got up to pee. I went back to bed. I got up to see if I could spot the raccoon that tripped the security light. I went back to bed. I tossed and turned. I itched and scratched. I composed opening paragraphs for talks, chapters, and papers. I thought about what color I should paint the bedroom and what kinds of window treatments I might like.
Maybe it was the book. Maybe it was the tea I had before bed. Maybe it was the snoring baby and her feet draped over my head and neck. Maybe it was the dog, sleeping on my feet. Maybe it was the snoring man on the other side of the bed. It was hopeless. I got up.
I'm writing out two talks that I'm giving in California next week. Maybe my present insomnia will permeate the essence of my talks, and no one will be able to fall asleep when I give them.
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About Me
- Angry Professor
- I am a tenured faculty member at a large state university. My teaching efforts primarily consist of delivering statistics lectures to social science majors. These experiences have colored my perspective somewhat.
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This blog is 100% FERPA compliant. It is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Angry Professor is the creation of Mr. Norrell, who lives in Guam with four rhesus monkeys and a gecko. He has never taught at a university.
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4 comments:
I feel like those people calling in to talk radio..."Long time listener, first time caller!"
Anyway, I feel for you. I have spent plenty of nights just like this. I'll tell you what ALWAYS works for me.
I get up and make a batch of bread dough. If, after kneading and cleaning up, I'm still not sleepy, I will try knitting for a little bit while the dough rises. I can't tell you how many mornings my wife has awakened to the smell of cinnamon rolls baking.
Now I take Ambien CR. Dreamless, peaceful, blessed sleep.
Good luck on your talks.
People who sleep easily just don't know they're alive.
I can't sleep at night without brandy and melatonin. I sleep about 3 hours a night even with booze and pills, and that's weird sleep...half awake, half dreaming. I get another two hours in the afternoon, because I feel like I'm going to pass out.
The only thing that helps is having both a fan and the radio on. Of course, I get BBC Radio 4, which is the ultimate insomniac aid.
As a recovering academic, I feel your pain. Let me know when you are ready for the twelve steps. Its the best cure for an academic's insomnia.
Maybe my present insomnia will permeate the essence of my talks, and no one will be able to fall asleep when I give them.
I love this idea. It's like the academic version of "Like Water for Chocolate." If you haven't read it, it's a magical realist novel in which the emotions of the heroine permeate the food she's cooking and cause profound effects in those who eat it.
As a fellow insomniac, I sympathize with you. I thought sleeping babies were supposed to exert some powerful soporific force? Is that only when you're trying to stay awake?
-Patashoqua (a long-time lurker)
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