From: Paddy Travaille
To: Angry Professor
Re: Graduate School
Hello:
My name is Paddy and I am a junior at Another State University. I am just now beginning to look at graduate programs, and I am interested in what you do. My main interests are in [this discipline] and [that discipline] . Could you please email me back with more information about how you interact with graduate students, funding, and the LSU community? I know that most of this information is probably online, but I really want someone to tell me about it instead of looking it up myself. [Sic!]
Paddy
Monday, September 22, 2008
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15 comments:
The new form of "drunk dialing"... "stupid emailing."
Dear Professor Servant!
I am a lazy, spoiled git, and I hereby order you to spoon feed me the information I think I need. Pronto!
My father is a rich crock and my mother is a once good looking high-class tart, so I deserve it.
LSG the IIIrd.
C'mon, I mean, at least it was amusing. That is more than I can say for the 15 emails I get everyday where someone gives me a GRE score range and the name of their undergrad school and expects me to tell them immediately (usually with language about "within 48 hours") if they can have a fellowship. Those just piss me off.
I have to say, I love the pseudonyms you come up with. Paddy Travaille is a stroke of genius.
Did you doctor this email in anyway? i just cannot believe that someone would be that stupid/careless/callous to send a professor (that they would potentially want to work with) an email like that
dang maybe my naivete is showing again
tnt
"At present I am sorry to say that the funding for the major in Indolence with a minor degree in Sloth has been withdrawn; let me recommend contacting the Mustard Museum in Wisconsin, as they may have some openings in POUPON U." I don't know that this warrants any form of response beyond a muttered epithet and quick trip to the Circular File.
OK, color me ignorant, but why the sic? I must be missing a glaring grammatical error.
And.... duh! Do students like that actually expect replies?
Cheeky. I want to ask a similar question - actually not nearly as presumptuous a one - to a colleague in another school at my LSU. It's a colleague I know and I still don't have the gall. And the only reason I want to ask is that the website is so uninformative - I really have combed through it.
How bad is this: "I would like to convince my friend X, a professional in your field from country Y, to come here to do Z one year professional degree in your department. Your program is one of those which suits her educational goals, and it would be affordable for her since she could live with me. I am wondering, are most or only a few of your graduate students t.a.'s and r.a.'s, i.e., should I suggest to her that if she gets in there may be a chance of some funding, or not? Also, do you ever waive out of state tuition for graduate students?" I really want to know, so she can figure out what the costs are likely to be, but I am afraid to ask because it seems so cheeky ... no matter how I play it, it sounds like I'm asking for a favor.
profacero,
The department admin asst will know the answers to many of your questions; whether most graduate students are funded and whether out of state tuition is waived. Go have a chat with her and, in a conversational tone, tell him or her why. Mention that you looked it up on the website but couldn't find the answers and knew s/he would have them.
If you still think this is a good idea when you get those answers, go talk to the prof - if you say his or her research is a perfect match for his cool work on X, he will blab away. We love talking about our work. It's not so much of a favor if you start with "hey, I have the perfect grad student for you. She's a real Y and totally interested in your cool work on Z"
I suppose you can make it sound less California though :)
Angry Professor, I have been lurking but wanted to say I very much enjoy reading all the silly emails you get from silly students. They may waste your time but when you post them for the masses it provides not only amusement but fodder for growing a superiority complex, which is important for countering my tendencies towards an inferiority complex. Anyway, thanks for your posts, they are funny :).
I loved this one I got recently, embedded in a rant against my "ignorant" policy of not accepting assignments handed in 1.5 hours late:
"This is a lower division
science class, not the third riech."
Yep, even spelled wrong... made me laugh.
I swear I see what this kid is trying for. It was just, badly phrased.
I mean, you wouldn't be mad if someone wrote you introducing himself and asking the best way to approach the graduate program, would you?
I occurs to me I've just wasted both out times typing all that out.
Gracias grandmother - I'll go in person.
P.S. I got an e-mail from an undergraduate today saying he was sick and missing class and would be by tomorrow so I could give class for him.
My suggestion would be to send this wanker to http://www.goober.com
Everything thing he needs to advance his carreer is right there.
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