To: Angry Professor
From: Ben Connu
Re: My project
I've been working on something very important (to me) lately. It involves a reapplication of my modeling technique to an old problem. An interesting (to me) complication has arisen and, although our work is very similar and I have held yours in barely-concealed contempt for years, and although I have refused to cite you even though you published my ideas before I even started college, I realized that the procedures you described at a recent conference might actually be useful in working around this complication. Could you send me all your code?
Ben Connu
Sunday, April 25, 2010
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26 comments:
Holy frijoles. What a doof.
Is that email *real*? Wow. I have no words...
I can certainly sympathize. I am a postdoc developing tools for a new model system. A grad student at another university has emailed me for all of my (waiting-to-be-published) protocols that I developed specifically to work in this system. My PI has instructed me to comply with the request "for the good of the order". I guess the chances of being scooped are small, but because of my PI, there is no reason for this student to not publish my protocols as his own. Burning the midnight oil now. Sigh.
eagerly awaiting your (summarized) response. :) if you find it at all worth your time to even bother...
AHAHAHAH! "Accidentally" send him some shit with a bunch of bugs!
He did ask nicely. Can you give him 95% code and 5% complete nonsense? I think that is sharing.
Its not like he is going to cite you even if you do give him what he asks for.
Hey, send him the code for the complete Linux kernel. When doofus doesn't manage to figure out what he got and what to do with it, send a stream of random instructions over the course of a month or two.
When doofus figured out that he got the wrong thing just claim it was an honest mixup and you just recognized that your code got overwritten with something strange.
Dear Ben,
Kindly masticate the corn from my effluvia.
Peace out, bitch!
AP
And send him a pony. He didn't actually ask, but I'm sure he wants a pony. And a dolly. Aaaaaannnnnd a PlayStation 3 and some really good games, like "Departmental Infighting III" and "The Sims 5: Backstabbing Colleagues" with the Faculty Cocktail Party and Budget Meeting add-ons. Ooh, and five dollars. And a pony, don't forget the pony.
My response would be...
"Regretfully, no."
Actually, it wouldn't be. But that's sure what I'd like it to be!
You suck. I was sincere in my email which you made public to humiliate me. What a douche!
When this sort of thing happens, I marvel at the social ingredients which go into the manufacture of science. Egos often work to the detriment of knowledge. What were the key realizations in our disciplines which were delayed by roughly a generation by similar issues many years back? These nuances don't make it into the refereed literature very well, and they sometimes only barely get into historical treatments.
Who got the credit in our disciplines, in our usual understanding of them, and who deserved the credit?
You're certainly not alone in this kind of thing. Thanks for blogging a bit about it. There's no right answer. There is, however, the quiet satisfaction of doing good science, even when you personally seem to be the only person on the planet who knows it.
This is verbatim, not a paraphrase? Amazing.
I'm not even quite sure how one would respond to it. I'm not even sure of the genuineness of his stated plea.
What's up with the "barely concealed contempt" business? - does he really want your help or is this just a gratutiously nasty swipe?
Is he simply angling for a knee-jerk response?
What are you going to do?
Maybe you should be as gracious as you can in response, and see if that flummoxes him.
Oh, my. I responded before seeing the comment by anonymous. Is that for real?
@Aunt Snow, no, it is not verbatim. I suspect that Anonymous is being funny.
I had this same experience years ago, mid 1980's. I was a teacher at a 2 year tech school. I created from scratch their first courses in computer aided design and drafting. No great research but they were some some of the first courses of their kind in the United States and word got around.
I had 3 full professors from the same 4 year college show up at my office door and say to me that I should give them all my work because they came from a 4 year college and I came from a 2 year college.
They explained to me thusly, "We are a university that grants Bachelors Degrees and you only grant Associates Degrees your work belongs to us. Give it to us." I looked at them and said, "No." They all turned and walked off. I had never encountered anything like this before and have not encountered anything like it since.
Some months later I was offered a fellowship to teach computer aided design at a university with nationally known engineering engineering program. I told them no also.
He actually responded to the post. Amazing. But somehow sad and pathetic.
Well! I concur with all who commented before me (exception: "anonymous" of course) - but as I am not currently in an academic setting (and was the departmental secretary when I was - oh, 'scuse me, "Administrative Support Staff") my thought is this: Send a polite note saying that you are not free to send ALL your cod, but have enclosed what you have immediately available. Then do so. OH....yes, I DID leave off the "e". Send him ten pounds of COD. Slowly.
I am truly amazed to how a very bright and fun blogger gets all this not-so-bright audience to be the ones posting comments...
Seriously, people??
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!! As IF!
Ano, the comments are moderated. If you can make it through moderation, why shouldn't we normal not-so-bright audience make it through moderation, too?
I really like the idea of sending the whole Linux kernel, except that he won't understand. How did you respond, if you did?
you've published all the work and I assume, with proofs and equations to the models...so "uh, everything I have is published, coding this is trivial."
HA! I HATE when people say something is trivial.
what a douche...
you've published all the work and I assume, with proofs and equations to the models...so "uh, everything I have is published, coding this is trivial."
HA! I HATE when people say something is trivial.
what a douche...
Am I the only one who found the original "email" amusing? I would have thought that was the aim.
This is the funniest thing I've seen all day. Thanks, AP!
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