Sexy television commercials notwithstanding, Axe body spray does not make you smell irresistible. On the contrary, it makes you smell like rubbing alcohol and pickle juice. Hot chicks would prefer it if you smelled like soap, and you can smell like this simply by taking a shower every morning.
The only thing Axe body spray might be good for is masking the odor of your acne medication. Of course, you wouldn't need quite so much acne medication if you smelled more like soap.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
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24 comments:
*wrinkles nose*
Oh how I hate that stuff! And the flowery stuff that serves the same misguided purpose for girls.
My boys are still only 9 and 7, but I will print this out and present it to them when the time comes!
Amen, sister.
Either Miss Manners or Emily Post said that a gentleman's cologne should not enter a room before he does, nor should it remain when he leaves.
Axe body spray is an abomination.
Preach it, Sister!
In fairness--not in defense of Axe--let's admit that acne has as much to do with diet, stress, and genetics as with cleanliness, for many people. Even the American Association of dermatology admits as much, and there are a number of medically-determined hormone imbalances that spur acne outbreaks even in those of us who wash at least once each day.
Still, I agree that any cologne or body spray should be used minimally so that those sitting further away than _in the wearer's lap_ aren't assaulted by it.
I kind of like the smell of Axe, but I totally agree with what you said. Nothing trumps a shower with lots of soap.
Thank you, I wanted to tell those users the same thing!
Ew. No one wants to teach in a classroom that smells like jersey shore Douchebag.
Thank you for the laugh! I walked into a class on Monday, and the class was really sweaty-smelling from the previous group. Not one but TWO young men pulled Axe body sprays out of their knapsacks and began spraying it around. I couldn't believe my eyes (or my nose). What is the world coming to...
I have a son who thinks that Axe body spray is the best thing since sliced bread. He has moved out of the house and the disgusting odor has gone with him.
Your observation would be well made to my students who think Febreze is an adequate replacement for washing their clothes. The smell is enough to make your eyes water.
Or the possibly worse smell of those who think patchouli oil is an appropriate substitute for showers and doing laundry.
Ah. Yes. That would be some of my co-workers.
Febreze is the only thing holding my old wool coat together. =)
Lest we forget...plenty of freshmen with too much makeup and too little clothing also put on about a gallon of perfume...
There's a "fresh women" joke in there somewhere but I'm failing to put it all together.
"rubbing alcohol and pickle juice"--so THAT's what Axe smells like! :-)
A couple years ago, when Axe first appeared on the market, one of my students arrived to class with one eye swollen shut, and huge, ugly hives running down the side of his face, down his neck, disappearing into his shirt, and traveling down his arm to the wrist. "My God, what happened?!?" I asked him. He looked at me, and then his classmates, and said "Don't use Axe body spray."
LOL @ Jersey Shore Douchebag!
In point of fact, the scent range for American men is pretty limited, compared to what is available in Europe, and I am always distressed to go to American drugstores to find twenty variations on the same marine-based "masculine" notes that increasingly smell not only the same, but monotonously chemical. (of course the feminine variation in the US tends to be obnoxious vanilla-based scent notes that connote feminine as much as marine is supposed to connote masculine; The rigid genderisations of scent notes in the US reveals so much about our fetishistic obsession on gender).
I attribute this caution and ineptitude on the part of American men to smelling good (and good here is subjective obviously) to homophobia, actually. Men are not supposed to be aesthetes, and are distinctly not supposed to pay too much attention to their toilette, or risk being identified as fancy boys or girlie men. The rise of personal fragrance assistants for men is interesting, only insofar as it signals some shift from the purely Old Spice/Aqua Velva regimen of the past. But agreed here that the new scent notes of Ax body spray et al. are a) icky, and b) sometimes used to place of appropriate personal hygiene, which is also closely identified with masculine practices ("guys don't care," etc.).
You could always prepare a pre-printed business card to hand out on such socially embarrassing occasions, like the old performance art of Adrian Piper: "Dear Student: Your scent notes, whether organic or synthetic, are offensive to my person. Please consider a more simple regimen of basic soap and water. I recommend Dove Sensitive/Unscented for hydrating care with minimal environmental impact. Thank you for your attention. Yours, Angry Professor"
GDad: [raises hand] OH! OH! OH! OH OH! OH! OH!
AP: [sighs] Yes?
GDad: I wroet about something similar a while back.
AP: Yes, I suppose you did...
GDad: And don't forget about this!
AP: Thank you for that insight. All right, everyone, remember that there is a quiz on Thursday. Have a good evening.
Well said.
Aw, what? I wear Axe body spray because I like how it smells and because cologne is just too strong to wear everyday (and I'm no young man, at least not by my standards.) By the way, young men do not retain the smell of soap very long, at least not if it's even a moderately warm day. Maybe they just need to cut down on how much they wear? Young men tend to do little in moderation.
I had just finished showering after my workout at the college fitness center. A student came into the locker room, the sweat on his shirt showing the evidence of a workout. He got undressed, whipped out a can of that AXE stuff, and sprayed out a noxious cloud of it all over the place. He then proceeded to get dressed, and I assume, headed off to his next class. I could only take pity on whoever he was going to be sitting near.
I am so glad someone said this. Chicks do not dig the smell of Axe. I don't care what the commercial says they are lying. There is nothing better than the smell of soap on a man or woman. Clean! While we are here we don't need to bathe in perfume/cologne either. One should want to move in to get a better wiff of it. It doesn't draw me closer if I can smell you from three blocks away.
As a decadent European, I'd like to add that I quite like when people use perfumes and such.
By which I do not mean that someone should use perfume or cologne instead of showering or that the smell should kill anything up to the size of wild boar within ten metres range or in the metro car. I just find it interesting when I'm passing by someone and I can smell a touch of something... interesting.
And I personally prefer the incense and myrrh flavoured soap from the local organic stuff shop and their cade hair shampoo.... been told that my hair smells like forest and asked for the recipe. That makes people sexy:D
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