Do not approach my car from behind at 30 mph on a parking garage ramp, throw on your brakes at the last minute and then get angry with me. You are not in an ambulance, fire truck or police cruiser, and therefore have no justification for going more than 15 mph -- see all those cars pulling out of parking spaces and people walking around? Pounding your steering wheel, rolling your eyes and throwing your hands in the air only makes you look stupid and pisses me off more.
The closer you get to my bumper, the slower I will go. I can see your ugly embittered face in my rear-view mirror quite clearly, and with every juvenile gesture of frustration I will go slower still. Each ramp is .1 mile long. We have a half a mile to go to get to the exit. I'm already going 5 mph. I am not in a hurry, and I am deriving great satisfaction from your histrionics.
I'm in front of you, you nasty old cunt. I win.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
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9 comments:
You are my hero.
Awesome. Also fun: boxing aggressive drivers in on the highway. Drives my wife nutz, but . . .
I love it.
The only thing that would make it better is a Trunk Monkey (TM)
http://www.trunkmonkey.com (OK, OK, it's an ape, I KNOW that)
From the angriest man in the world: let them in front of you to torture the next person. You'll never win taunting them, and it's dangerous.
-AB
While AB's concern gives me the warm 'n' fuzzies, I love to see these people (whom I never have the guts to stand up to) being so exquisitely tortured. AP, you make me happy.
J*
I've noticed a rash of these people lately. Some horrid person got really mad at me the other day for assuming that the "zipper rule" applied when I was merging from an off ramp onto a smaller highway that was moving ~30 mph. She honked at me and gave me the both hands "What the hell" gesture, even though she had left me plenty of room to merge. I thought for a minute about stopping, getting out, and checking my back bumper on the excuse that she must have been honking to alert me to something wrong with my car, but I wanted to get home.
The very next day, at the same off ramp, another car violated the zipper rule at about 40 mph. I looked over, and the driver was looking the other way and clapping her hands.
My commute needs some kind of monorail or something.
Our collective intolerance for delay -- even the most reasonable safety-related caution -- is becoming terrifying. Our sense of privilege will destroy us.
Though a little push-back psyops might help. Bravo!
Yes, AB, and violence isn't the only danger here. It's no victory if it comes at the expense of sharing the psychology, however temporarily, of the psychotic behind you.
That's my motto... the closer you are to my bumper, the SLOWER I go. Tail me all you want, I save my anger for people I know. :)
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