I am surprisingly calm, for a hypochondriac. I am not imagining surgeries in which half my face must be removed, or months of chemotherapy, or spending the rest of my short life in excruciating pain as cancer eats through the bones of my skull. This time I know that the worst-case scenario, squamous cell carcinoma, is a pretty wimpy cancer as far as cancers go, and I'm going to be just fine. Maybe I'll have an interesting scar, which is pretty ironic, because I only took Doug to the doctor to prevent a scar in the first place.
No, here's what I'm feeling: Imagine that you (as I) have been wearing the same coat all winter. Back in January, when you stuck your hand in your pocket, you felt a strange something and you didn't know what it was. As the weeks passed, you stroked, fondled, and fiddled with the thing, until it became as familiar to you as the coat itself. Then one warm sunny spring day, as you're fiddling with the thing in your pocket, you decide to pull it out and look at it.
It's a cockroach. Or a dog turd. Or a dead mouse.
That's how I feel.
Friday, April 18, 2008
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9 comments:
AP, I have confidence that LSU's fine medical staff will care for you with the utmost skill. If you're not going to LSU, I'm sure there are other places in Ellesouville (sp?) that are fine establishments.
In this break-up though, I'll be *your* friend. Doug will have to find his own new friends.
Brilliant description, albeit one that makes me feel slightly queasy. Fingers crossed for the wimpiest of wimpy diagnoses for Doug.
As someone who has had a couple of minor 'omas removed, I think that is the perfect way to look at it! And if your doctor is good, you shouldn't have much of a scar - mine are just slightly paler small circles, about three years after removal. The important thing was that you caught it so early.
Barb
Oh my! What a fantastic description.
friend of mine had one. no problems, small trivial barely visible scar. i have bigger scars from smaller things!
chin . . err, . . doug up!
I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm so glad you got in early. Hubby takes skin biopsies and moles off all the time, and he actually lost a patient in residency who had a horrible one that he just never went to the doctor about and hadn't gone to a doctor for years and years. By the time his wife got him in, it had spread. It sounds like yours is early and treatable. That's a good, good thing.
I'll be thinking of you, though. Make sure they use enough lidocaine. It helps with the sewing up after--oh, and an oval-shaped incision (the round one doesn't sew up as well or heal as easily).
Sending you good thoughts over the internet. :)
I wanted to send some more good thoughts your way. Good luck with as benign a diagnosis as possible.
And remember that scars can be sexy.
Keep Doug's former home out of the sun, it will reduce scarring.
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